So today was my last day at my current employment -one of the happiest moments I've had in a long time!
Monday I start my new career, a career I've worked to get for over a year
In just over 10 weeks I will have the title of Officer - I will be a police officer for Hodgkins, IL
I'm alittle nervous - not of the classes I have to take, not of the physical training I have to take
But of the CHANGE
Why is change so difficult, so scary?
I'm extatic - even after having to dish out over $1000 for the pistol and gear...I keep saying it's an investment (an expensive one at that)
But why am I so scared?
Also, my friendship of 5+ years with my Marine Corps buddy/roommate is falling apart because she doesn't want me dating this girl I've been dating for alittle over a month
She says that I'm being a crappy friend because I'm choosing this girl over her,
I say she's being a crappy friend because she's trying to make me choose - when the girl hasn't ever done anything to her-in fact, they get along
This is the easiest relationship I've ever been in, I don't have to work at it...everything just happens
We get along sooooooo well, sometimes so well it scares me, that it couldn't possibly be real (i've never had that)
My roommate has even tried sabotashing it - something this good and is real
I haven't had happiness in so long, I struggled paycheck to paycheck
My father (father of 9 kids) is screwing my Mom and not paying his child support-i have become my Mom's support group
My sisters and brothers are always in constant need of some sort of help - me again
And I have never felt love - I'm finally feeling that, got the job of my dreams and everything should be going smoothly but alas I hit a brick wall
Will anything ever come as it should - EASY?
Life's a game, and even when everything seems to be falling into place there's a "Lose a Turn"
Deep breath,
Walk forward
Head held high
And roll again
1 comment:
Sometime soon... very soon.. let the sibs stand on their own, help each other.. or find another way to get through what they are going through..
Youneed to focus on you too.. never make the mistake of forgetting to do that..
Sad that your roomate/ friend is not being supportive...
i wonder.. could she have feelings for you herself that she has not expressed? And perhaps feel jealous.. I have experienced something similar to that in the past.. hurts..
If you have found or think you have found your soulmate.. I am happy.. but take it slow and make sure it is real.. it won't go away if it is real, and if it is not, after all.. it will hurt less if you do not give it all up for this one girl..
LOve you mom.. thts all she needs .. when she tells you her problems, hug her and tell her you love her.. that is all she needs or want,s i would bet..
Daughters are gifts..
Good luck on this new endeavor.. it is so nice to find your way to atain a dream.. work hard, be safe and find joy
kath
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