Run Run!

So I'm less than a month away from running my 2nd Marathon and I still can't figure out why I am doing it. I'm not involved in a charity so it's not for that...I don't have a love for running so it's not that...I smoke -that's an oxymoron in itself -so why?
Am I running from something -subconsciously that is? If so, what?
I put myself through 6mths of therapy and left because I wasn't getting anything out of it...
I felt like the sessions was purely giving away my money -we talked about my training schedule and not my life.
While training for my 1st marathon I had just broken up with what I thought was the love of my life...2 days after the marathon and 4months of training we got back together -the happiest day of my life. I absolutely feel complete with her!!!
As I train for this marathon I am still with her so what could I possibly be running from -if anything.
Life really makes no sense to me sometimes.
When I want answers -there are none
When I don't want answers they're pouring at me!!!
Why is that I wonder.
Oh well, such is life I suppose...I wonder, doubt, hope, pray and keep running!